He wanted to be a Pirate
by BrowneyedShamer
Summary: AU Where Sherlock is Captain of the Deerstalker and after kidnapping himself a new doctor and first mate he sets sail with his rag tag crew to fight off his own boredom and go where the wind takes him. Hopefully to dead bodies, adventure and treasure!
1. Chapter 1

OH gods what have I done, first a deamon story then one with mutants and now Pirates GOOD GODS! I was on the youtube and found this by _thelemalema_ **http:/ www. youtube. com/ watch? v=cYuUfNxv9zo** WATCH IT, ITS AMAZING!

For those few of you who might not know a Deerstalker is the hat Sherlock wears Just FYI!

**He wanted to be a pirate!**

**Chapter one**

Captain Holmes of the Deerstalker –he didn't name it he swears- surveyed the drunken crowd at the port bar. His gray-green eyes were searching for a suitable replacement. He needed a second hand man and a doctor, preferably one man but two would suffice if needed. He'd been missing one for months now and was about to give up the search but his mind egged him to search one more night, and since tonight was a large festival in this small port and the British Royal Navy where also docking so he'd thought why not? In the back of the bar a small man with short blonde hair with an attractive face, sat alone in the shadows, his friends had abandoned him there hours ago but the man hadn't left as others would have, he just sat there nursing a drink and watching his friends flirt with the bar wenches and disappear upstairs.

Sherlock had noticed the man when he had first walked in. His friends had needed to assist him since his leg was injured, a normal person wouldn't have been able to tell but Sherlock being way above the norm instantly knew this man had been injured in battle and had done so bravely. Eyes locked on his target the tall captain stood up and moved over towards the newly injured man. He sat down without asking.

Even in the dim lighting Sherlock could observe more than the average plebian and learned this man was an officer who was injured a month ago but still felt necessary to guard his men. He wore two pistols at his side instead of the customary sword. He was loyal, brave, smart, handsome and had above average intelligence. Sherlock wanted to scream with excitement at his luck.

"If I could pay you better would you leave the service of her majesty? Well the benefits are okay but it would be dangerous" Sherlock asked.

The man frowned and rolled his eyes. "Listen I'm not for hire, but thanks for the offer."

"They're going to retire you when you get back." Sherlock stated.

His words only increased the blonde man's frown. "How did you-.."

"Your wound is fresh and although you walk without a cane you wince slightly. The Navy rarely keeps those who are injured very long, they prefer fresh meat. That and your men invited you out for drinks when a normal standing officer pays so clearly this is your farewell but they've wonder off as usual. So my offer stands do you want a better job?"

"John," A wasted pudgy man slurs, interrupting the two as he stumbles to the table and upends it.

With practiced ease John pulls his beer cup to his chest with one hand and snatches up the lamp with the other before the table falls onto its side and rolls off into the noisy crowd. He drunken man has fallen to the ground and looks up at the two men with heavy eyes. John sighed loudly and looked down at his drunken subordinate before sending Sherlock an apologetic smile.

"Yes Mike what is it?" John says with all the patience a saint would possess.

"Captain," Mike slurs again as he tries to get up, John sighs and puts the oil lamp next to himself and offers his hand to the obese man. "Captain Watson you're amazing."

Once Mike was up John smiles up at him and waves him on. "Yes I know."

Mike stumbles back into the crowd and disappears into the smoky and dimly lit room full of laughter and terrible piano music. John shakes his head fondly as he watches his friend go.

Sherlock looked at John and smiled. "I think you' be taking my deal."

John turned and looked at this strange man who is beautiful and mysterious but kinda weird in his opinion especially that smile which talked of nothing good. John's free hand fidgeted with one of the guns at his side. "I think not."

Sherlock tilted his head and frowned deeply, John took that as a response and continued on. "I don't know your name, I don't know what you want and I don't even know where we would be going."

"The name is Sherlock Homes and I am the Captain of the Deerstalker." John raised a single eyebrow at the ships name but didn't ask, he'd heard stranger names. "I don't want to be bored and I go where the wind takes me. That should be enough to be going on."

John shook his head and chuckled light heartedly. "We've only just met and you want to go off together?"

"You are Captain John Watson of the Royal British Navy and signed up when you were sixteen ,but pretended you where eighteen to escape an abusive house hold. I know that even though you're a captain you work as the ship's doctor and are a well-respected man. You're a crack shot with the pistols and prefer them over swords. And you have a terrible case of heroism and altruism." Sherlock rambled off quickly, satisfied to see John's mouth fall open.

"That was….that was bloody fantastic?" John blurted out, catching both men off guard.

Sherlock blinked. "Really that's not what people normally say?" He was pleased John appreciated his deductions, liking the captain with every passing second which in of itself was odd.

"What do they normally say?" John asked his blue eyes alight with laughter.

"Piss off." The two men looked at each other before chuckling.

Sherlock nodded to himself with a smirk as their laughter died down and John looked out towards the crowed tavern with a content smile. Sherlock had found the perfect man. John would make a great doctor and even better second mate. Sherlock slipped his hand into his loose white shirt and pulled out a small packet. Watching John's every movement he upended the packet into the shorter man's cup, watching the white powered dissolve quickly in the foamy drink. John turned back to Sherlock as said captain tucked a piece of paper in his pants pocket. John smiled widely and took a long swig of his ale.

"How do you feel about the violin?" Sherlock asked suddenly with a triumphant grin.

John blinked at the man. "What?"

"Potential partners should know the worse about each other. I play the violin when I think and sometime I don't speak for days."

John blinked again, but this time because spots where growing in his eyes and not out of confusion. The tavern spun and all he could do was stare into those gray-green eyes and that condescending smirk as the world narrowed in on Sherlock and John felt his body grow limp and he slipped into darkness; wondering if he'd ever see Sherlock again, and why would he care about the violin?

-/-/-/-/-/-

John awoke in a bed under the feel of a moving ship and that wasn't the unusual part, neither was waking up in a strange bed, it was the shouting that was weird. It was a female's voice. Women we're aloud on ships it was bad luck, and especially not a naval ship. John stumbled from the room, cursing his bum leg and needing to clutch at the walls to even make it to the door. He opened it and blinked out into the bight afternoon sun.

"Sherlock! I will bend you over the railing and make you beg for mercy." A beautiful women with coal black hair and ruby lips, screamed up into the air.

She was wearing a loose white shirt tucked into a pair of tight leather pants. A long whip sat on her curvy hips. John's first though was Pirates and his face paled as he looked around at the other ship members all dressed in baggy clothing, no uniform among them. Not to mention he spotted another women on the far end of the ship stirring. His mind blown and world spinning John gripped the door frame tighter, hoping to awaken from this terrible dream but knowing this was reality.

John also looked up with the assortment of crew members up at the crows next. A man in a long coast that flapped like a dark flag stood elegantly looking towards the horizon. John looked out and gasped, there wasn't a bit of land in sight and he was on a strange ship with pirates. His odds where getting slimmer by the moment. Not one to ever back down John took a small step forward out of the doorway and into the afternoon sun.

"What the hell is going on?" John bellowed, gathering the attention of the mismatched crew and the man atop the crow's nest.

"John your up." The man cried out eagerly before jumping over the side and shimming down the ropes to gracefully jump aboard the deck, with an ease John was jealous of, knowing he'd never be able to do that again. John gasped and pointed at the man when he turned around black curls flopping.

"You!"

"Please use more than one syllable words to express yourself John, you're not two anymore." Sherlock drawled out.

A dark skinned youth in a baggy gray shirt and lose brown pants with their black hair held back in a bandanna, crossed its arms and leaned against the ships wooden railings. "Did he follow you home too?"

John turned towards the youth, who could have either been a pretty boy or tomboyish girl, slack jawed at the suggestion. Sherlock interrupted the two as he passed by and walked towards John with a wide smile. "I drugged him and dragged him aboard, Johns our new Doctor. Welcome aboard the Deerstalker." Sherlock stated as if that was the most normal thing in the world, pleased at his fine catch.

John tightened his hand into a fist as Sherlock approached him and when the man got close enough he let lose his anger and punched the man in his smug face, feeling slightly relieved after doing so. Sherlock stumbled back with a look of shock on his face as the crew burst into cheers.

"No means No Sherlock."

* * *

Hahaha poor John being kidnapped and drugged...PS WATCH the video ((Sherlock-He wanted to be pirate)! It's SOOO SOOO SOOO good!

**Thanks for Reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

_This is supposed to be a comedy so If there's something you kinda would like to see let me know I might be able to make it happen…expect silliness, gore, fighting, awkward situations and Of Couse LOVE! NOW…Let's set sail!_

**He wanted to be a Pirate**

**Chapter Two**

Judging by the state of the apparel on the crew members and the various weapons that decorated each one of them plus the women on board John guessed he was on a pirate ship. No he knew he'd been kidnapped by Sherlock, Hell the man even admitted it with such glee it was scary. Like kidnapping and drugging naval officers was Sherlock's one joy in life. The sparkle in his eyes was damned annoying and having punched the smug bastard John felt loads better. But he'd feel even better to be home again. John threw himself at Sherlock who had doubled over with the force of his blow.

John wrapped his arm around the taller man's throat and with the ease of practice he pulled out his gun and pointed it at Sherlock temple. The crazed man giggled like this was a happy moment in his life. John starred at the captain with incredulity, and looked back at the crew. None of them looked startled or even remotely worried; however, John hoped they were all quivering in their boots and secretly worried about the manic man. Otherwise his plan was shot down before it even took flight.

"I'll blow his brains out if you don't drop me off at the nearest port."

The dark skinned youth laughed as the women with the whip crossed her arms and popped out her hip. "Do it and save us all the trouble."

Astonished a crew would sacrifice their own captain, John loosened his grip on the taller man's throat, who clicked at him disapprovingly. "Why would they let you die?"

Sherlock sighed as if this was a daily occurrence. "I'm not exactly their favorite person." Sherlock mumbled.

"Favorite person?" A pale man, dressed head-to-toe in black said as he moved towards the railing where the dark skinned youth stood. "Most of us hate your guts."

"Or want to throw you down." The women with the whip purred seductively.

John lowered his pistol and released Sherlock entirely. "Now see here, he is your captain and you should give him the proper respect. How can you even function as a crew?" John bellowed like the naval officer he was.

Automatically the crew of fifteen jumped to attention and all eyes were glued on the crippled blonde man that radiated power. No one breathed much less moved, save the navigator who remained steering the ship. Beside him Sherlock clapped gleefully. "I knew you would be perfect. Now we might actually get somewhere."

John turned towards the crazy captain with a glare and wagged his gun at the man, who didn't seem the least bit terrified of him. "I'm not staying. Drop me off at the next port."

"Oh don't be dull John, you love danger." Sherlock grinned. The crew had started to unfreeze from their trace as the two men argued, John waving his gun in Sherlock face and the manic man merely grinning like he'd found treasure. The sea sloshed against the side of the boat and two seagulls above their heads called into the distance.

"I want to go back." John bellowed once more, and atop the mast a seagull flew away startled.

A timid looking woman behind the large steering wheel of the ship poked out her head. She wore a large floppy brown hat that held most of her mousey brown hair. She was of small frame and her clothes seemed to swallow her up. Her pants had been tied around her waist with a piece of rope. "Captain?" She called out nervously.

Sherlock's eyes alit with joy as he gracefully bounded away from John and towards the panicking girl. The small girl pointed ahead and all eyes turned towards the front of the ship. Up ahead another ship silently glided along, except while the current ship John was one was brown with the standard white sails, this ship was made of a darker wood and it's sails where a blood red. John swore loudly and Sherlock giggled excitedly as he clasped the girls shoulder. She looked up at her captain like he had lost a few screws. John figured he probably might have.

"A new doctor and my rival in one day, now all we need are bodies. It's just like Christmas."

John looked at the crew, they all had identical looks of horror and incredulity, but it wasn't aimed towards the threating ship. They all gaped at their captain. A tall man with salt and pepper hair stepped forward towards John. "I should probably introduce you to the crew since he's probably already forgotten you."

John nodded for the man to continue, and his leg had started to throb but he wasn't about to ask for a chair. A warm sea breeze flew past; ruffling his rumpled naval uniform and making him feel even more out of place.

"I'm Gregory Lestrade, second mate," the man said he pointed to the girl behind the wheel. "That's Molly Hooper, she's the best navigator and sailor of ships, try not to sneak up on her, she's got a good arm." Greg waved his hand to the women with the whip who struck a dramatic pose. "Irene Adler, the fiercest women at sea." He then turned towards the dark shinned youth and the pale man. "Sal Donovan and Anderson, they're a rag tag team but amazing tacticians." He then waved to the other men milling about. "Dimmock and his men, they're the best rushers." Greg rubbed his chin. "And I assume you'll be meeting Ms. Hudson at some point, don't let her age fool you, cause she'll swindle your pants away."

John nodded as he absorbed all this information. He glanced over towards the other ship that was approaching fast. "What about them, shouldn't we be worried?"

Greg sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "That's the Bloody Baron and they've only come to flatter the captain."

Irene snorted, turned on her heel and sauntered off towards her captain. Something in the way she walked told John, Sherlock was in trouble. "You promised we'd dock at the nearest port."

Sherlock smirked, which John figured he did a lot of. "But we did and look I have a token." The captain waved his hand towards the naval doctor and all eyes turned to stare at him.

John sputtered and gripped his gun tighter, wondering if he could blow this infuriating man's brains out. Obviously the crew could care less and they might even reward him with his release. "I am not a thing Sherlock, let me go."

Sherlock languidly walked down the deck towards John, his natural grace making strutting on a wobbly boat look easy. "I'm not stopping you, nobody's holding you back." He whispered dangerously, his gray-green eyes glowing with an inner fire as if he dared John to jump over the railing.

The other ship pulled up next to the Deerstalker, shouts where issued and a shot was fired. Imminently Sherlock's mismatched crew burst into movement. Sal and Anderson disappeared into the depths of the ship while Dimmock and his rushers manned the five cannons on the port side. Irene struck an elegant pose with her hands on her curvy hips, looking at the new ship with distain. Lestrade pulled out his sword and stood next to Irene, in a relaxed but ready position. Behind the wheel Molly flushed prettily and giggled silently. Throughout all the movement of his crew Sherlock remained starring intensely at John as if he could pull out a confirmation from he man. John wasn't going to give in and Sherlock sure as hell didn't plan to give up so that left them at a stale mate.

"Sherlock!" A new voice bellowed out across the sea.

On the other ship a man dressed all in black except a red scarf around his hips stood on the railing of his own ship holding onto the rigging of the sails to stay balanced on the rocky seas. Regrettably Sherlock turned and faced his so called rival. He'd seen enough of James for a month and truly didn't want to see the insufferable man but sadly a promise is a promise. They had agreed to cause mischief to escape boredom and that's how his childhood friend become his rival, but Sherlock was growing tired of the squabble and wanted to –for once- go solo from the flamboyant man.

Sherlock glanced over at John whose mouth had fallen open as he starred at Captain James Moriarty with disbelief and astonishment. It was pretty hard for the plebeians to believe or even comprehend how such a kind and nice looking man with such a pretty face and delicate frame can be the seas bloodiest captain who plundered for the pure thrill. He didn't believe in prisoners just bodies and slaves.

"I heard you have a new toy, so I came to play." James sing-songed happily, looking directly at John.

James liked to scare off anyone Sherlock paid attention to and at first it was endearing but after years of such occurrences the captain had sealed his heart and grown tired; however John was the missing piece that would anchor their floating ship of misfits and with him they were now a crew. Sherlock wasn't going to let anyone take away his ship or his new –functional- crew, who all jumped into action. He could put on a front but in the end he valued each and every member on his ship, he wouldn't have specially selected them otherwise! Sherlock stepped in front of the smaller man shadowing his doctor with his taller frame.

"Piss of James." Sherlock sneered.

Moriarty's face fell as his eyes darkened. "What did you say?"

"I've grown tired of your games James and refuse to play, you've grown dull."

Moriarty's face turned purple with rage as his own crew men shrank away from their vicious captain. James turned around towards his crew and in a flash whipped out the gun tucked in his boot and shot the nearest man with a cry of anger before turning back to Sherlock. His face returned to his normal creepy grin as he sadly shook his head. John peeked behind Sherlock but the taller man pushed him back. The more James looked at John the more uneasy the self-proclaimed genius felt.

"Now look what you made me do."

"Vatican Cameo." Sherlock shouted.

Molly turned the ship a hard port while Sal and Anderson appeared from below, lugging coils of rope and swiftly climbed the mast, tightening the white sheets to catch the wind and giving the vessel speed. At the same time Dimmock and his crew loaded the cannons and fired at the base of the ship, where the wood met water, leaving five gaping holes quickly rushing in with water. Moriarty's crew scrambled around hazardly, most disappearing from the deck to below where the men could be seen trying to shovel water out of the ship. The Deerstalker rushed by the Bloody Baron hitting the back and spinning the ship and breaking the tip of the bow of the Deerstalker in the process.

James roared angrily as Molly steered them away and Sal and Anderson climbed over the giant sail, catching the winds and increasing their pace across the open ocean, leaving the Bloody Barron stilled and broken in their path.

"I don't think he was too happy about that." John said after they had sailed away and the Baron was no longer in sight.

Lestrade chuckled fondly and ran his free hand through his silver hair. "Creepy bastard, it's about bloody time."

"Here, here," The crew happily called in agency.

"He won't let us forget it," Sherlock reminded his crew, successfully dampening the cheerful mood. The captain turned towards John and held out his arm as if John was a distressed women needing assistance. While once again John pictured his fist meeting Sherlock's handsome face. "Dinner?"

* * *

_**Thanks for Reading!**_

FYI Port is nautical terms for LEFT/ Bow is front

Faith Robin- why do you read my stories! Hahahah u make me laugh Ok ok more detail hope this is good enough but really its kinda just a boat on the sea not much there

Mikra- I'm glad u found it amusing I hope ch2 was even more so

Larahna Steadyblade- AWESOME username by the way like wicked cool! I'm soo glad u laughed I do want this to be light hearted and funny! Oh there will be more and I hope the rest is just as good!


	3. Chapter 3

_Sherlock is totally a closet perv! John your ass is toast! It's short because I'm tired and couldn't think anymore! I promise next chapter will be longer!_

**He wanted to be a Pirate**

**Chapter Three**

Sherlock drummed his fingers against the table, glaring at the other occupants and wishing for the power to vaporize. What should have been a nice chat between him and John about his new position as the ship's doctor and other things had been crashed by the arrival of the dimwitted duo –Anderson and Sal- followed closely by Irene who was currently seated in his lap, Molly by his side like the good puppy she was and Lestrade chatting up John.

"So John I heard Military men are exceptionally well developed, care to give us a demonstration?" Lestrade had said with a leering wink, causing John to blush.

Sherlock was about ready to throw Irene of his lap, snap at Molly, punch his second in command and shoot Anderson dead, in that order. Only he could make the doctor blush, he'd been the one to find him. John was His! Besides Lestrade was a playboy and would leave John the moment another pretty face came along.

The small room with only the long table as decoration and a map on the far wall felt smaller than usual and Sherlock kept imaging throwing Sal and Anderson out the right window and into the dark sea, they may have been good assets at the time but after twenty minutes he had wanted them gone. This was not how he had planned the evening to go.

"Darling am I not enough for you anymore?" Irene purred as she seductively ran a finger up his chest, licking her lips.

In the dim lighting of the swing lamp on the ceiling Sherlock caught John's expression which was almost unreadable; he was either upset about her words or holding in laughter. Not one to lie, even to himself, Sherlock admitted it was probably the latter. John didn't hold any feeling for him at the moment. He didn't realize how perfect he was, how utterly magnificent they could be together but Sherlock knew and he planned to do something about this situation, starting with Irene and ending with a bloody Anderson.

"You've never been, nor will you ever be enough for me." Sherlock said coldly, taking pleasure as her elegant face fell with dejection.

Irene sniffed haughtily as she stood up, Lestrade whistled and Anderson patted his own lap. "I can get far more men than you'd ever dream of with these." The women said running her hands over her plump breasts and down her stomach, her fingers disappearing into the space between her thighs as she moaned wantonly.

John blushed deeply, at her actions thoroughly embarrassed at her display of sexuality. Molly and Sal looked equally as uncomfortable but far more excepting. Irene saunter away from Sherlock being sure to sway her hips just so. She smoothly sat down next to John and smiled at him.

"I feel hot," she breathed as she grabbed John's hand pressing it over her chest, directly on the smooth skin of her bosom. "Do I have a fever? Doctor can you fix it for me?"

John blushed an even deeper red as he removed his hand away from Irene and gently pushed her away, not at all comfortable with her advances. As a military man and doctor he had far too much respect for women to do anything to the beautiful seductress in front of him. And honestly she wasn't doing much for him anyway. Lestrade pounded the table happily, claiming they needed to get a room while Anderson offered to take John's 'problem' away from him. No longer able to stand it anymore, Sherlock stood up, his chair loudly scraping on the wooden floor and bringing silence to the roughty room and all eyes on him.

"Irene I did not bring John here for your personal pleasure, please remove yourself from the good doctor. Molly, go get my cane and Anderson do us all a favor and throw yourself out a window." Sherlock deadpanned.

Molly scrambled to do as her captain ordered and fell over herself running out the door, she didn't even have time to close it. Irene regretfully scooted away from John, putting a foot between her and the doctor. Greg put his head on the table and laughed until tears where streaming down his face, while Anderson huffed and crossed his arms, pouting, except he wasn't that good looking so it made his already squished face appear ugly.

"I'm not some damsel in distress that needs their honor to be saved," John muttered angrily, sticking out in lower lip in a pout.

Sherlock swallowed heavily. The captain reached down and tightly gripped the edge of the table. Oh how he wanted to throw the table out of the way and just take John then and there. His cute pouting face was making Sherlock's tight leather pants even more restricting. Sherlock didn't want to defend John's honor, oh no he wanted to desecrate it himself and make a dirty dirty mess. Luckily Molly returned in record time before Sherlock followed through with his perverted thoughts and deflowered his future friend and right hand man in front of his crew, well most of his crew.

"Here." She said with a shy smile thrusting the silver can in front of Sherlock, the captain looked down at molly with a single raised eyebrow before jerking his chin in John's direction. Molly stuttered and apology and rushed to hand the can to John.

"I don't need this."

"Your injured." Sherlock shot back. Was John being stubborn because of his pride or he didn't want anything from Sherlock?

Lestrade looked up from his laughing fit and sobered up. "He's right the cane would help."

"I can manage just fine." John shot back stubbornly. Molly shifted uncomfortably next to the navy doctor, still holding out the cane he refused to take.

Irene laughed and took the cane from Molly who scurried back to her previous chair. Irene pushed the cane at John. "It's a gift, he never gives gifts so take it and be happy."

John reluctantly took the cane, rubbing a thumb over the top. "Thank you."

Sherlock sat down with a happy smile, having won this round. "Ms. Hudson!" He bellowed suddenly startling his crew.

John jumped at the bellow and stood up so quickly he dropped the silver cane and overturned his chair. The doctor's leg was still newly injured and raw and the sudden weight made the man unstable. Having a genius mind that worked twice as fast than the other humans he was forced the breath the same air with, Sherlock was already out of his seat and moving towards the doctor. Shoot each of his crew members a meaningful glare, daring them to even think of touching his doctor. He'd enjoy experimenting on their dead bodies. With the grace only a Holmes and felines could ever possess, Sherlock slipped forward and easily wrapped his arms around the falling man. His right arm latched around John's shoulders as his left dipped to pick up the man's knees and to finish it off he still managed to catch the silver can in his right hand. Sherlock turned on his heel and walked back to his seat carrying the doctor bridal style. He then sat down with an elated grin, John firmly wrapped in his embrace.

"Let go of me." John growled as he tried to squirm out of Sherlock's thin arms, which were much stronger then they appeared.

"Love birds." Sal muttered as Anderson sneered.

The comment made John's squirming increase. Sherlock only glared at the two vowing death for each, a painful and slow one as he increased pressure on his vice grip. Irene looked down at her nails boredly while Molly looked away her eyes rimmed with tears and Lestrade offering her a shoulder. Ms. Hudson chose to appear carrying a tray of tea and a bright smile. She wore a simple purple dress and looked like she belonged in a stone cottage then a pirate ship. She didn't hesitate at the odd scene before her and instead proceeded to walk in and place the silver tray in front of Sherlock.

"You must be John," The kind elderly woman said. "I see your legs bothering you, I have a hip. Be sure to go easy one yourself."

John blinked in surprise that the woman knew who he was and that his leg was even injured, it wasn't obvious unless he walked. He also noticed Ms. Hudson had only brought two cups of tea. The elderly woman turned to the rest of the crew and simply folded her arms over her chest and smiled even more kindly.

"I think we should give them time to talk, yes?"

Instantaneously Irene, Lestrade, Anderson, Sal and Molly disappeared out the door at lightning speed. Rushing to obey the woman. Ms. Hudson turned back to Sherlock and winked as she exited the room. Leaving John still trapped in Sherlock lap.

"How did you know my name?" John managed to blurt out before the woman left him alone with the strange captain.

"He hasn't stopped talking about you for months dear." Ms. Hudson chuckled as she closed the door.

John twisted in Sherlock's arms, until their faces where inches apart. The doctor was seething. The captain had been following him!

"You where stalking me?" John snarled, growing still in Sherlock arms.

Sherlock racked his brains for the appropriate response but couldn't come up with one so he nodded his head. If looks could kill, all of Sherlock crew would have been vaporized years ago and Sherlock would be a boiling mess in his chair. John looked ready to rip his throat out.

"How long?" The doctor managed to say between clenched teeth.

Not seeing the point in lying Sherlock admitted the honest truth. "Since you saved me from your naval buddies at a bar in London when I was fifteen and you where twenty. I lost track of you at twenty three but then I found you again fourteen months ago. You promised me you'd help me become the greatest pirate captain there ever was and search for gold, so I came and collected you"

"Don't lie to me you bastard." John balled his fist in anger and punched Sherlock jaw. The captain let go of him as he rolled away. Quickly stumbling out of the room, leaving the door swinging in his wake. Sherlock clutched his throbbing jaw, his normally cold eyes raw with emotions.

"I'd never lie to you John, it's all true."

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

Islandwitch- I'm soo pleased you find this soo funny!

Faith Robin- Thanks for reading even if you were bored!

LittleMissDreamer7- I'm gonna be honest. I feel like you're my number one fan because you're always the first to review and you're reading all 3 of my Sherlock stories and it kinda makes me giggle! So I ADORE YOU AND THANKS A BUNCH! here's a virtual cookie!

Eby- I'm glad you read this tooo..hope ch3 was just as good!

Dianaj2w- Wow your soo excited with makes me excited XD

Wargh- Pirate!Lock is my fav too and I've only found like 3 of them so mine is number 4 YEAHHHHH my fav number!

Kyer- My best friend walk in on me saying the Christmas lines with the jokers voice….she thinks my batman obsession has now gone too far! But your soo right!


	4. Chapter 4

_I just realized its ch4 and the plot has yet to be introduced…*faceplam* hehehe oops_

**He wanted to be a Pirate**

**Chapter Four**

"I don't know what he told you but he vexes us all." Irene murmured as she leaned up against the railing overlooking the calm night sea, next to the limping army doctor.

John growled something incoherently nasty under his breath but didn't move. He was too tired and sore to act as the proper gentleman at the moment. Not that he thought the seductress didn't deserve it but he doubted she'd appreciate the gesture.

"I just want to go back."

Irene chuckled and reached over to pat the good doctors back. "He'll chase you to hell and back."

John sighed with exasperation, afraid of just that. "Why?"

Irene shrugged and pursed her pretty red lips. "Because he's Sherlock and when he takes something it stays his."

"I'm a broken naval doctor," John shouted in frustration.

"Well now you're _his_ broken naval doctor and he doesn't seem to want to let you go anytime soon." Irene said nonchalantly.

John rubbed a shaky hand through his short blonde hair that had started to gray in the past two years. "Bloody wanker."

Irene nodded vigorously in agreement. "That he is John, but we all love him for that."

"Really?" John asked with incredulity

Irene huffed in mock anger that the short man wasn't taking her words as law. "He's like a barnacle that grows on the bottom of ships. At first you find them annoying and clingy but then you realize they're pretty in their own way and useful."

"How are barnacles useful in any way?"

"I haven't the slightest idea but metaphors have never been my specialty," Irene growled, this conversation was not turning out like she had planned. The goal was to help put Sherlock in John's good books but all she was succeeding was tongue tying herself. The beautiful buccaneer threw up her hands and sauntered away with a call over her shoulder. "Just give him a chance."

"Sodding git kidnapped me, why the hell would I give him a chance?" John muttered darkly to the nighttime seas that always seemed to calm his raging moods.

"Because he's a good man and one day if we're really lucky he'll be a great man," Greg spoke as he took the spot Irene had vacated.

John pursed his lips at the older, taller man. "That means absolutely nothing to me."

Greg nodded but his face remained stone stern. "I haven't seen him this excited since he caught wind of mermaids in the Bahamas."

John looked appalled at the idea of Mermaids, a small shutter running down his spine. He had heard the tales of men drowning at sea while searching for the beautiful songstress's and he didn't want to go down that road. Being a naval doctor he had seen many horrible things in his time but the insanity men had suffered as they disillusioned themselves into believing crazy stories was by far the most horrifying thing to John, he'd rather lose a limb any day then his mind. Sherlock seemed like the perfect candidate for such a crazy expedition, the realization had him gripping the railing until his knuckles turned white.

"Where are we headed," John asked with trepidation.

Greg pursed his lips, unsure whether he could divulge that information to the shell shocked doctor. Sherlock had only told his crew to make the man as comfortable as possible and no to aid in his escape but he hadn't mentioned information was off limits. "South-West."

John groaned loudly and let his head fall forward. This was not happening. "Good God, is he really taking us to the Caribbean?"

"We're kinda already here."

John's mouth fell open in surprised, that couldn't be true his ship had been in New York only a few days ago, visiting the colony, how could they have traveled the distance of the continent in less than two days? Greg took pity on the doctor who in his moment of confusion and in the light of the full moon and the swing lamps on the ship looked years younger.

"This isn't a normal ship and our captain ain't a normal man."

John looked up at the taller man with wide eyes, his mouth open but no words coming from his mouth.

"Some say he's the wind god trapped in human form, others say as long as he's on his ship, he's the master of the seas. Whatever the story is know that Sherlock Holmes may look like a normal man but he isn't. He hand-picked each one of us for a certain reason and I think it would be in your best intrest to follow along."

Greg clapped John's shoulder one more time as the naval officer absorbed this new information and slipped way towards the inside of the ship.

"How did he pick you?" John called.

Greg turned with a smile as he opened the door into the ship. "He followed me home and gave me what I had been longing for a place to be and enough adventures for twenty lifetimes."

John watched at Greg disappeared into the heart of the ship probably to go sleep since it was getting late and the crew still had to work to keep the ship afloat, speaking of such John looked around the ship it seemed to float on its own the giant wheel tilting ever so slightly as if an invisible crew member was steering the ship, the ropes on the ground remained perfectly coiled and if they belonged on a normal ship would have started sliding. Greg was right the Deerstalker was not a normal ship. His thoughts drifted back to Sherlock Holmes

"I think you should stay," a light voice interrupted John's musings, startling the man who won't admit even at gun point he screamed.

He certainly did not scream.

Not at all.

Molly chuckled into her hand as she approached the doctor but unlike Irene or Greg she remained a foot away from the man. "He really means well."

John rested a hand over his hammering heart. "I'm sure all good men kidnap others after they drug them," John hissed in anger.

Molly flinched as if she'd be slapped and looked down, instantly John's face softened. "He's really very kind."

John sighed, in any other circumstance he would have been comforting and supportive to the shy girl but he just couldn't bring himself to right then. "I'm sorry Molly not now."

The girl nodded with a loud sigh as she disappeared from his side and walked back into the depths of the ship. John sighed loudly again as his head hammered slightly, he was so tried he thought he'd drop into sleep and fall over the side of the ship.

Another body slid into the space Molly had just vacated, John groaned and let his head hit the railing in frustration, not bothering to look up at his new therapist. "Look I get that Sherlock is an annoying git who jumps before he thinks and is apparently a resourceful, enigmatic and all round good looking guy who kidnaps broken doctors after years of stalking them. And that he only does things for a logical reason so please don't give me another lecture."

"Excellent John!" John's head flew up as he locked eyes with the manic captain of the ship he was currently being not held prisoner on. "Now that we're on the same page, let's discuss sleeping arrangements."

Oh how he wanted to punch that pretty face.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-

"John?"

"John?"

"John?"

"John?"

"John?"

"WHAT?" John cried out angrily his voice pitching since he had previously been sleeping and his throat muscles relaxed.

He had been reluctantly coerced into sleeping in Sherlock's room, since the captain claimed all other places where occupied and he didn't sleep. As it turned out Sherlock's room was the same place John had woken up in earlier that day. The room was cluttered with books and papers scattered along every open surface. Sherlock's large bed was piled high with all sorts of blankets and his walls lined with various maps and drawings.

"Do you remember our first meeting," Sherlock began as if he hadn't just woken up a grumpy doctor at two in the morning to have chat. "You probably don't it was a long time ago, but I do I remember everything."

John rolled around in the bed, tangling the sheets around his legs as he tried turn over to look at Sherlock in the dark. The captain was up and dressed sitting at his desk as fresh as if he'd slept for weeks, with his feet propped up on his wooden table that held his maps and gleaming white skull in the corner. Sherlock reached forward in the darkness and stroked a finger over the skull with a fond smile. "It's odd to think about it, but when the body dies all that's ever left is the transport. Even the heart and brain, the two most important organs, disintegrate leaving the sad white shell."

"Is there a point Sherlock?"

"You didn't leave me," the man said softly as John fought his heavy eyelids.

"I don't remember meeting you," John slurred.

Sherlock's eyes flew back to the skull. "I died with a smile in your arms. You held me until the end and even afterwards made sure they took care of me properly, informed my family and even attend my funeral."

John was extremely exhausted but Sherlock's words tugged a memory to the forefront of his brain and he could clearly see the tombstone as a younger version of himself placed a bundle of cats grass on a newly dug grave. "That was you?"

John was having the oddest dream.

"You never left me," Sherlock repeated.

"Of course not," John mumbled sleepily wondering why he was having such a strange dream. What did that say about his mental stability, did he wish Sherlock dead? "Your eyes-…."

"I came back to see you," Sherlock breathed finally admitting his feelings to the man who had saved him in every way. "I made a deal that if I could get you to-."

Sherlock was interrupted by a loud snore coming from John, he frowned at being interrupted but the frown soon melted into a besotted smile at the tiny grin on the good doctor's sleeping face. The tall man stood up quietly as he walked over to his bed that John was curled up on and reached down ghosting his fingertips along the older man's cheeks. John was just as beautiful as he remembered only this time he was the one looking down. In his minds eyes Sherlock could still see himself laying in the good doctor's arms as he slowly bleed out in the dank alley way having been beaten to death only moments prior for sassing a group of sailors. John had stumbled across the brawl and unlike every other pedestrian the doctor had jumped in without thought and defended him against four bigger men. Thoroughly whipping they're arses.

Sherlock hadn't expected help but John held him, rubbing soothing circled in his lower back as he gently rocked the bruised and bloody boy in his arm. That single act of selfless kindness had ingrained itself into Sherlock's mind and embedded itself in his heart along with John. Sherlock didn't have a heart because John held it firmly in his unsuspecting hands.

"I fought the Gods to come back and see you."

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

**Umm…plot line? YEAH**

Dianaj2w- I'm soo glad you liked this fic and I hope it continues to delight you

Chat-noir-91- Oh there will be a lot more Morairty and Pirate!Lock and I'm excited you find this brilliant!

LittleMissDreamer7- I hope this chapter wasn't too long of a wait! And It makes me smile to see your comments on most of my stories!

Zoofreakpkh- Of course everyone wants John..he;s smexy and he knows it LOL


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